When I started reading Stephen Covey's book on highly effective people, I was going through a lot, and I had not spoken to my dad for months. I was looking for blueprints on becoming successful when I picked the reading, but that is not exactly what I found.
I felt like a failure back then because it was a year since I graduated, and my parents still paid my bills. I needed a book to show me how to get money quickly and become stable. I was eager to make something of myself and take care of my family since they invested massively in my education.
Halfway into the book, I realized that I was looking for the wrong type of success. Covey challenged me to look deep into myself and make the little changes before claiming financial success. The analogy of beginning with the end in mind got me thinking about the kind of life I have lived and my influence on other people.
I wondered what my family members would say at my funeral if I died. Honestly, I could not find encouraging things in my thoughts because I was not reliable. I struggled with addiction, and I locked all my family members out at some point.
I drank too much and avoided phone calls, especially from those ready to judge my new habits. My dad was furious, and he tried to call me to order on various occasions, all to no avail. Covey challenged me to become more reliable and make amends with my family members.
I decided to become more reliable even though I struggled with unemployment. I became closer to my family members and apologized to those I had offended along the way. Sooner than later, I found myself drinking less because I could not go to family gatherings drank. I concentrated more on my job applications and delivered better performances on my interviews thus landing a job few months later.
Highly effective people must be willing to make personal changes before craving huge changes from outside. I could not have made any progress if I did not accept my shortcomings and improved on them. Sometimes you need to say 'I have been bad!' and then make the necessary plans to become a better person. The problem with many of us is that we try to play the blame game to validate our bad behavior. I drank too much because it was Friday, I abused and insulted him because he looked at my girlfriend, I embarrassed my family members because they have been unfair to me.
These are very bad reactions, but they are validated by excuses that make them sound right. Many people will quickly say I had no control over the situation; I had to react immediately. Covey ascertained that we always have control because we control the reaction. You are provoked in many instances, but you decide to fight or walk away.
Highly effective people are slow to anger when provoked, and they think critically before reacting to bad situations. Hence, they tend to make the right decisions even when the odds are against them, and they win most of the time. They accept mistakes and take control of situations because they know that they are always in control.
Covey also persuades individuals to try and listen when they are in the company of other people. You cannot be understood unless you make an effort to understand other people around you. They will be motivated to listen to your side of the story if you allow them to communicate. Highly effective people do not make communication a competition, but they solicit the best analogies and outline excellent pitches. These analogies are only created when you listen and critically weigh various points.
I have been in huge debates where people talk with lots of emotions, and they look like they are about to fight. The winner of these arguments is always the calm guy who speaks in low tones with amazing composure and understanding. That is because the calm person takes time to think critically and listen to what others say.
Additionally, highly effective people ascertain what is most important, and they put that first no matter what happens. It is imperative to affirm what is most important and then protect it regardless of the odds. To many people, family is important; thus, they have to analyze what will happen to their family if they get hurt. Other people value finances; hence they are always working and barely have time for breaks.
I think family and personal relations are very important in our lives. If you start with the end in mind, you will see how much relations matter in life. Those who put their family first are likely to always make the best decisions in tough situations. They will effectively plan their finances because of potential emergencies and avoid environments that instigate bad decisions.
Bottom Line
Success has nothing to do with having a good job and getting all the money in the world at a young age. If you start with the end in mind, you will realize that success is about taking care of your family, being reliable, and building meaningful relations that can last a lifetime. Those who hold these things dear are likely to live better and happier lives.
The modern generation is misled into believing that success is about how much money you make and what you own. That vanishes very quickly when you lie in your death bed, and many people only remember the impact you had in their lives.
Start your journey towards success today by becoming a better person and treating people with compassion.
Great ideas here....