You may never know what it means to be down until you lose everything you own one day. Some people commit suicide since they cannot deal with the shame and struggle of starting from scratch.
Some give up and become drug addicts because that is the easiest step to take, and many will understand because of the situation. I have lost everything more than once (Not that I owned a lot anyway).
I took six years to graduate from college, and I struggled with drug addiction all through my college years. Not really; the addiction continued after I graduated with my education degree, and my family gave up many times. I have lost well-paying jobs along the way since I could not take instructions from my superiors, or I was just too high to accord them any respect.
One day I came back home and found my entire house empty since I forgot to lock the door when I went out. I could not call home because I am a rebellious child, and I have always craved freedom above everything. My dad and I do not have the best relationship because of my relentless quest for freedom and independence. After all these mistakes, I managed to get back on my feet, beat my addiction and raise a family with the love of my life. These tips brought me back to life when I thought I would never change, and you should try them.
Admit Mistakes and Take Responsibility
During my drinking escapades and constant parties, I realized that I always found a way to validate my behaviour. I would blame my father for not being there as much he should have been or my siblings for always being on my case. I never blamed myself all through the addiction phase, which was my problem.
I would complain for hours about how my friends led me into bad decisions that I could have avoided if they were not there. That happened even though I decided to go out with them and over drink.
I complained because my big sister died and left me alone without any warnings. I thought I was always the victim and that things were happening to me since I had no control. I think many people adopt this blueprint when they lose everything or make mistakes.
They fail to admit that they made a mistake. Hence, they cannot take any responsibility for their actions, and it worsens over time. Believe me, you will never run out of people to blame in your life if you pick up that mentality.
The first step towards getting back up is admitting mistakes and taking full responsibility for the decisions. That will open clear paths of redemption, and you will start thinking about how to be better.
2. Forgive Yourself
You cannot take substantial steps towards redemption if you do not forgive yourself. I wallowed in self-pity for long periods when my life was in shambles, and I avoided all my friends during that time. I got into unnecessary bar fights to quell my anger, but I realized it got worse over time.
I could not make any changes because I kept on thinking about how I messed up. I asked myself how I could make such mistakes despite my education and religious background. I was distraught, and I never wanted to think about anything else.
I did not improve until I forgave myself and decided to do better next time. I think it is very important to forgive yourself before anyone else does that to you. Financial losses may be the toughest because sometimes you invest all your savings into a venture, and it crashes.
Many people sink into a depression since they cannot imagine living without their savings. In some instances, people lose their entire life savings to investments, and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
You need to forgive yourself and promise to do better next time because there is nothing much you can do. Forgiving yourself will help you see money-making avenues to make amends for the mistakes. The universe will not open up to you unless you forgive yourself and decide to take fresh steps towards
3. Talk to Someone
Many people do not believe that I have never been to a therapist despite the tumultuous and stressful life I have encountered. I make up for that by talking to people about my problems and feelings. There are instances where I would strike meaningful conversations with strangers at a restaurant and leave the place feeling better than expected.
I usually feel like a huge load is lifted off my shoulders after these conversations, even though I do not get specific solutions. Sometimes it is important to get these issues out to anyone, and you will feel better.
I thank God because of my personality since it has helped me thrive in this category. I can instigate serious discussions and debates while in the company of strangers and end up gaining a lot of knowledge out of that. Sometimes I think it is easier to talk to strangers than friends because they do not know you, and they will not go around gossiping about your struggles.
I also believe in true friends who will be there for you no matter what you are going through. In this instance, I am saying that you need a support system that will help you get through the difficult time. The support system may include family members or close friends whom you can talk to and discuss issues.
Additionally, a therapist can help if you are not able to talk to family or friends. I know some introverts will never talk to strangers unless they are therapists who are paid to do that job. Therapists will help you dig deep and find a happy place that can motivate you to start living your life again.
4. Develop a Next Possession Attitude
In basketball, players are always reminded to focus on the next possession regardless of their mistakes in the current possession. Whether you turn the ball over or an opponent makes a very tough shot, it does not matter.
The mentality is even stronger today because of the existence of the three-point shot. Teams will be down 25 points, and the coaches will still encourage players to focus on the next possession and push the ball as much as possible.
I love the idea since it does not dwell on mistakes made in current possessions. Players are asked to get back on defence as quickly as possible and get the next possession to be better. Businesspersons who lose their money in investments should consider using the ideology to bounce back. They should try and concentrate on the next decision and ensure that it is the best they will ever make.
Those who master the next possession mentality are quick to learn lessons from their actions, and they will not make the same mistakes again. They will avoid continuously talking about what happened, giving themselves enough time to focus on the present. It does not matter what they did in their last possession since they always concentrate on the next one.
The reigning Finals MVP in the NBA, Giannis Antetokounmpo, once said: "If you focus on the past, that's your ego, but if you focus on the present, that's humility." He ascertained that he is able to remain on top of his game by always trying to think about what next and how the present will play out. Those who lose everything should try and entertain the idea of the next possession and how they can avoid mistakes like basketball players.
5. Focus on Qualities and Strengths
It is easy to think about your shortcomings when you make mistakes and fail miserably in particular ventures. But that makes the situation worse because you keep thinking about how you cannot get back up. You have to think about things you have done well over the years and how that can factor into your new journey.
You cannot call yourself a total failure because you messed up and lost a considerable part of your net worth. It is imperative to think about the little things that worked; you can build yourself again by following the same paths.
All of us have qualities and strengths that we manipulate as much as possible to be successful in various ventures. These strengths help individuals thrive in business dealings and personal affirmations associated with success. After a failed marriage, you can think about your kids and how you love them dearly. The kids would never have happened without the marriage or your partner; hence, it was not a total disaster.
Bottom Line
Admit mistakes and forgive yourself for going off course before you pick yourself up and move on. It is almost impossible to effectively bounce back without admitting mistakes and taking full responsibility for the failures. Always try to take responsibility even though you understand it is not entirely your fault.
The mentality will help you bounce back and make better decisions as far as life is concerned. I would have never achieved stability if I kept blaming others for my addiction and mistakes.
Let's adopt a next possession mentality and bounce back up like great teams in basketball.
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